will I remember?

Will I remember today for the rest of my life? For the rest of their lives? I cried as I left them to go to work. Why can't I stay home with my babies? It just doesn't seem right. When I picked them up, we exchanged so many hugs when we got home, but how many did I miss? C woke up feeling poorly and B and I were struggling to decide what to do...what to do...If only I just stayed at home, it would be fine. Luckily he pepped up. AC give such sweet smiles, she makes you feel so special for sharing them with you...and I had to leave her...

As I rocked AC to sleep, I tried desperately to remember holding C and AM when they were that small, but the memories fade. They are so big now, it is difficult to remember. Maybe if I write about it... She was wearing pink and brown striped jammies. She is just 3 1/2 months, but they are 6-9mo. B had put her to bed, but she got back up an hour later and was very hungry. I didn't think she would go down so I took another lap around the house. She fades in and out, opening her eyes sometimes. I laid her on her tummy, she likes that best I think. I will flip her over after I finish writing so she can sleep on her back the duration of the night. She's out. AM got up 3 times. Once, she couldn't find her water, next, she wanted her fan off, and now she has to take her baby to the Dr. She means well I guess, but we are tired...and have to work tomorrow.